HARE:- B’Astard

HOUNDS: Friggin, Just Tom, Cupid Stunt, Boulders, Meat Free, Shirtlifter, Le’Ass Over Tit, Just Andy, Bones1,  Bones2, Just Georgia(j), Cracked Lips, H5N1, SomethingElse, Just Carly, Just Aaron, Cock’n'Rubber, Nobby,  Kipper, Just Zoey(j), Bookend, Simon Barber(v).

SOCIALS: BOF, OrganGrinder, Pollocks, Dill Don’t.

HASHERS: 22  TIME: 1 Hour 18 min    DISTANCE: 5.5 Miles

HARES REPORT (book)

What happened to no rules?! Too many moans about length. Run faster!! It’s a hash not a walk. It’s good to see most people entering into the spirit of the hash & doing the wet and nasty things……  face to bum wasn’t for everyone in the tunnel.  So pleased (I enjoyed it thou).  Next time will be better. x B’astrd.

GM’s REPORT

Looks like our little sabotager had been busy again, adding dots in regroups and then not turning up to do the hash, but making an appearance as a social for a down down from the piss pot (where’s the justice).   A little over time on the run but who cares, as B’Astard found a new 205 yard drainage tunnel to crawl through which by the time all the hash was in, the small glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel was extinguished so forward movement was in the pitch black ‘face to bum’ “NICE”.

Boulders and a few others decided that a swim was in order, Boulders scaring of the ducks in the lodmoor reserve unintentionally loosing his footing and going up to his neck in shitty water, the others choosing the safer bathing area of Weymouth beach following the On Inn arrow to the mark.

Route went around Lodmoor reserve , up to teddy bear woods and headed over towards the park and ride , through the drainage tunnel and back to the Lodmoor Inn via Lodmoor hill and the housing estate.

DOWN DOWNs

HARES: SWIMMERS: Bones1, Just Andy, Just Tom, Just Simon (Boulders went home cos he got a little cold ahh).

MOANER: Kipper moaned about the length and time out.

VIRGIN:  Just Simon

GM’S DDs: THE MOLE   Cock’N'Rubber refused to do the tunnel, also posted on Facebook after all the reminders and advertising “where’s the hash this week” DOH. Made to crawl on floor with eyes shut.

HARE AND SABOTARGER : BOF messing with the hash. B’Astard – running over the hour.

HARES: BOF & Organgrinder

HOUNDS: Pollocks, Something Else, Boulders, Shirtlifter, CK, Welly Wanker, Bones1, Bones2, Just Georgia, Cracked Lips, Dick in a Jonny, B’Astard, Muscrat, Corn on the Knob, Honest John, L’Ass Over Tit, Just Aaron, Lagerlout, Buzz(v), Just Sam, Just Tom, Just Jack(v), Just Paul(v).

SOCIAL: MSB

HASHERS:  25     TIME: 1 hour 2 mins    DISTANCE: 4.9 miles

HARES REPORT:  This was a unique Sub60: a live hash with no hares!  Organgrinder was busy painting her toenails and BOF had a dodgy knee, so the ‘live-hares’ set off to lay the live hash and were back 3 hours early -D’Oh?

Despite the rain halfway through, the pack followed the trail after 3 false trails at the start, to the top of the Ridgeway and down to Sutton poyntz, then back up the hill again: devilish cunning those hares. How the memory of the cunning lingers!

F.R.B.s Back in 59mins and 59 secs. BOF.

ACTING GM’s REPORT:

GM’s REPORT:  My in-growing toe nail is finally getting better, allowing me to get up and down the stairs a lot easier, thus the pisspot that Buscock purchased for me in my time of need is no longer required.  It seemed such a shame for it to get chucked away when it had been such a useful tool so it was decided that it should be donated to the SUB60 as a new drinking vessel, of course I gave it a little swill out with some cold water before BOF volunteered by  e-mail to be first to try it out (where’s the justice in that).  Bookend.

hash585 Bridge Inn 03-May-12

Hare: Boulders

Hounds: Shirtlifter, Welly Wanker, CK, Gravelrash, Kipper, Just Steve, Something Else, Cupid Stunt,  Cock’n'Rubber, L’ass Over Tit, Rosie, Just Sam, Just Tom, Just Andy, Organgrinder, Lagerlout, B’Astard, Dick in a Jonny, Cracked Lips.

Socials: MSB, Buscock, Bookend, BOF, H5N1, Just Carly, Just Aaron, Just Ollie.

Hashers: 20   Time: 48 Mins  Distance: Unknown

Hares Report: herewith the hare’s report:

If most of the gathered hashers this evening had believed the weather report nobody would have turned up. Luckily the promise of ‘No hills’ softened the blow and a decent amount of hashers turned up. Unfortunately I should have placed more stock in the Met Office as symbols carefully placed in chalk were washed away in a shower meaning 1 1/2 times around the route before the kick off!

 Under leaden April skies we set off across Hambro car park to loop round and up to New Road. Fish hooks featured early on with two sets before the first regroup. The route took everyone up towards Portland Heights for a decent view over Chesil before a rapid descent towards Chiswell. More fish hooks caught a few out but they used the terrain to slow the FRBs down!

 The route then fought its way back to Fortuneswell High Street before heading up and over to the old quarry incline. A short hop over the top of Ventnor Road led to a footpath which afforded a swift descent to the On Inn.

 Overall: hills aplenty but it was under the hour!’

There we go Bookend. Sorry for the DD, thought it had been a while since you’d had one!!

 GMs Report: Well after Boulders’s last effort at a Sub60, which was more like a sub82, this one was his repent hash, in which he insured me it would be under the hour. He delivered but I still feel he owes me another 15 Mins somewhere in the future, but well done to him( 2 hashes since Xmas ).

I knew Just Steve was going to turn up on this hash, as we approached the middle of the causeway when the wipers had to be put on on the car. Out of the eight hashes he has done at least 4 of them it has rained, ”maybe a Soggy name would suit”. Took a good picture of the hashers who arrived on time outside the pub and the hare lead the ’Check’it’Out’. following the local friendly fox. Left at base camp with MSB and a Hound-dog for company, we were soon intruded on by a couple of very late young hounds, dumping their bags and a twin brother and asking in which direction the hash left in, being a nice GM we pointed them off in the other, but apparently they did catch up eventually.

Sat down and had a couple of pints watching a leaving local, complaining about how cold the pub was , soon returned with armsful of wood and stoked the fire up to the extent that the services of Dick in a Jonny’s mates may be required. But did warm the pub up nicely. The hash returned after about 50 Mins with reports of “ up and down, and up and down”. Think it must have been a hill they were talking about but I didn’t see one.  On return we seemed to gain a couple of faces that were not at the start another 2 very late hashers Punishment for all late comers was required! 

Lastly we have a self admitting hash meddler and sabotager in our midst blatantly advertising the fact.  At least we know who to blame and to punish if anything happens in future hashes!! 

Down Downs

GMs -  Being late – Cracked Lips , Dick in a Jonny, Cock ‘n’ Rubber.

ONE Dick in a Jonny  ’DRINKS’ BOTH Cocks in a Rubber ’DRINK.

Act of Stupidity-  Just Tom for running the London marathon this weekend 22nd: best of luck to him from all the Sub60.

Hare’s DDs

Venue whingeing- Lagerlout for whingeing about the venue.

Bionic leg – Bookend

Late comers – Just Sam, Just Tom and Ollie (twin brother).  

All down downs were 8.5% pear cider.

Date: Thursday 31st May

Time: 7.00pm

Hares: Cupid Stunt & Cracked Lips

 NOTICE BOARD

ARMY TRAINING NIGHT.

CHECK OUT SPECIAL EVENTS

ON ON Bookend.

HARES – Cracked Lips & Dick in a Jonny.

HOUNDS: Rosie, Gravelrash, Just Matt, Just Mary, Organgrinder, Welly Wanker, Cupid Stunt, Boulders,  B’Astard, Honest John, Shirtlifter, Hooker, Something Else, Pollocks, LagerLout, Gay Cavalier, Just Megan, Just Sam, FishFinger (G), Just Aaron, Cock’n'Rubber, Clive Taylor (v), Sue Rainbow (v), Ellie Walker (v)(G), Just Geoff, Just Lyndsey, NoFI.

SOCIALS: BOF, CK, Merry Hen, Just Michelle, Just Jayne, Just Dean, Nobby (briefly), Bookend, Buscock, Just Rachel, Just Guy, Tsunami, MSB, Dill Don’t.

HASHERS: 29    TIME: 53 Mins (beer stop)    DISTANCE:  ? 

HARES REPORT: (IN BOOK)  The carrots definitely confused things! Is this a carrot ?? The Easter egg hunt ‘egg and spoon’ Fish hooks went down well. (Note: hashers like chocolate as well as beer.)

COCK’N'RUBBER, despite having given up chocolate for lent, managed to find an Easter egg in the hunt and a cream egg on the spoon race. Did she share? Did she HELL!         Carrots 1 of your 5 a day!

HARES REPORT: Flopsy, Thumper, Hoppy, Peter, Rampant and a whole bury of fellow rabbits emerged hungrily from their burrows (don’t ask rampant about his burrow) to gather at the Red Lion Pub last Good Friday Eve. They were after 1 thing: CARROTS! And this hash wouldn’t disappoint: }> }> }> ‘RUN RABBIT RUN’

Most of the bunnies followed the carrot trail with gusto but some of the more seasoned ones were suffering from a severe case of carrot blindness – years of following dust must have given them myxomatosis. The mysterious trail of carrots led them up onto a green where two very handsome hares told them this land contained a secret: 10 pink straws had been hidden by the Easter bunny himself which could be exchanged for some tasty chocolate eggs. The bunnies hopped around in a feverish joy leaving no stone unturned. Some of the lucky bunnies enjoyed the spoils of the search. Some naughty bunnies, in desperation, tried to exchange cable ties for eggs (Honest John showing why he was named so.)

Learning nothing from the tortoise and the hare, 4 eager bunnies were fish-hooked back with the added pressure of a Cadburys cream egg and spoon race. Cock’n’ Rubber, having given up chocolate for lent, hid her egg away for later- you’re a bunny not a squirrel!  The carrots eventually led the bunnies to a bizarre looking GM propped up against a well laden car. Had the young rabbit Fiver been there he would have foreseen terrible danger at this situation, but alas he was not and so the rabbits were enticed closer.  Snared by the GM’s trap, they were presented not so much with the Watership Down they had been promised, but a Watery-shit Down Down!!! Boulder was crowned the cutest rabbit and was sure to have the pick of the bucks later. Just Matt, being a rabbit, did what naturally comes to rabbits and was heard yelping “I’m going to lay with my wife”.’  Hop On Inn’ led the exhausted bunnies back home where Crack Lips had prepared some Carrot shaped carrot cake, complete with sweetie green leaves! yumyum.

Thus ends the tail of the Bunnies Easter Hash. So with a nod to our friend the Duracell bunny: On-On and On-On and On-On…..

Cracked Lips & Dick in a Jonny.

GM’S REPORT: With a boot full of beer myself and Buscock found a nice spot on the harbour wall to park our car and hopped round the corner to the Red Lion to the awaiting Bunnies on this Easter themed hash.  After a few words, the Hash was hopping off chasing carrots. So being a bunny themed hash it only seemed right that we should find some ’hops’ of our own. After 40 mins of sunning ourselves with our hops, under the Red Lion’s patio heaters we bounced back to the car to rush up to the Nothe to set up the watershit down down beer stop. Listening to BOF in the car on the way up and the reason why he wasn’t hopping (something to do with bad knees, and can’t be ass-ed) I thought that we qualified to park in the disabled bunny parking bay to set up. 

What a great turn out not only for the hash but for the social afterwards. Well done to Dick in a Jonny and Cracked Lips: they put a lot of effort and forward planning into this hash which from all reports everybody enjoyed.

ON ON Bookend.

DOWN DOWNS:

SUB60 ABUSE: Thinking of excluding SUB60ers from special deal for forthcoming NASH HASH- MISMANGEMENT – BOF,  Organgrinder,  Honest John,  Shirtlifter, Gravelrash (took Welly’s place as lazy rabbit returned to pub early).

VIRGINS: Clive Taylor, Sue Rainbow, Ellie Walker.

GUEST: Fishfinger.

HARES: One hare drinks both hares drink!

MOST GAY BUNNY: Boulders (bad seriously camp pink ears)

RAMPANT RABBIT: Just Matt who must lay down on the damp grass with is wife.

Maybe some more but can’t remember!!

HARE: Lagerlout

HOUNDS: L’Ass Over Tit, Gravelrash, CK, Welly Wanker, Organgrinder, Bones 1, Bones 2, Just Georgia(C), Just Zoe(CV), Just Tom, Cracked Lips, Erco, B’stard, Pollocks, Hooker, Something Else, Honest John, Just Andy,  Cock’n'Rubber, Kipper, Corn on the Knob, Boulders.

SOCIALS: Buscock, Bookend, Just Michelle, Tsunami, H5N1, Willy.

HASHERS: 23   TIME: 50 Mins   DISTANCE:

HARE’S REPORT: before the hash started Lagerlout said there were fish hooks and, on looking at the assembled mob, gave the number 5 for the hookers. This didn’t work as well as hoped due to two of the front runners (Boulders and Just Andy) galloping along without looking for dust and getting themselves onto the return trail, and never reappearing, and this was after they all had a bollocking at a regroup for treating it as a run rather than a hash. Fish hooks and regroups then kept the pack in check enough for the rear guard to stay in touch. Back at the John Gregory down downs were given for the many birthdays which occur during this week of the year, including old timers Organgrinder and Lagerlout.  

GM’S REPORT: a  good gathering of 23 hashers in Southill’s shopping precinct car park. Hash hush was called as Cock’n'Rubber and Cracked Lips headed off in the other direction, so a small delay occurred as they did whatever they had to do.  Lagerlout informed the pack that it was dust and on and shouted “check it out”.  The trail was soon found and a route up the bank of the car park was set upon, leading on to the maze of Southill’s estate.   Myself and Buscock decided that a walk was required, so foolishly not asking the hare which direction the hash was heading in, headed off in the other direction with all intention of finding some dust and hopping out from behind a bush to surprise some unfortunate front runner. But our walk was uneventful without the slightest hint of dust all the way round.

The hash got back to the pub in good time well within the hour, we took over the whole bar area for the Down Downs which, may I point out that if it had not been for birthdays, the GM would have had to make them up, as there was no tittle tattling on other hashers whatsoever.  But surprise: Lagerlout owning up to her birthday and also informing me it was Organgrinder’s, then Buscock informed me it was also Bones 2′s birthday as well. Just as I prepared for 3 Hashy birthdays Pollocks and H5N1 names came forward as well. Nearly got to a stage where it would have been cheaper to give everybody a down down who didn’t have a birthday.        Sat at a table and Cracked lips sat next to me with a large bag of winkles which she was picking out of their shells with a pin and consuming in large quantities.  If she hadn’t had a hash name already she would have had one on this night.   Overall great hash with everybody staying for drink and good social afterwards.

DOWN DOWNS

GM’s – Hashy birthday – Lagerlout,  Organgrinder,  bones2,  Pollocks,  & H5N1 (hashy birthday)

Virgin hasher-  Just Zoe  (she’s a virgin she’s alright)

Hare’s DDS-  Blatant trail and bar abuse-  Boulders & Just Andy (why were they born so beautiful)

Stuck in a fence – Kipper & Just Tom  (The’re all right, they both got little W…..s , but the’re all right)

Just Tom got another DD for calling the GM Steve so we sang (living next door to Steve, Steve who the F… is Steve).

Hash 582 The John Gregory 22-mar-12

HARES:  Just Tom & Just Sam

HARE ASSITANTS: George Bell (gatecrasher)  & Ollie Lewis.

HOUNDS: Something Else,  H5N1,  Gravelrash,  Welly Wanker,  CK,  Just Dean,  Just Jane,  Just Gavin,  Just Simon,  Just Geoff,  Just Molly (v),  Nobby,  Just Steve,  Just Matt,  Just Mary,  Bones1,  Bones2,  Just Georgia,  SNoFI,  B’stard,  Boulders.

SOCIALS: Just Michelle,  NoFI,  Bookend.

HASHERS:   23       TIME: 58 Mins    DISTANCE: 4.8 Miles

HARES REPORT: HI Steve,     Tom and I have slaved over the run report and here is our final version.

“After gently persuading a bunch of old hashers to not wimp out of possible watery encounters, we cracked on. After many river crossings we went on inn. In the pub, people were heard recalling tales about how fantastic the route was and were praising Tom and Sam’s caring nature as they were seen lifeguarding threatening rivers.  THE END.

ON ON… Master Bakers Tom & Sam.

GM’s REPORT:   The council had been busy this week putting in new road markings on the road up to the pub or was it the widest ,whitest bar, stretching from one side of the road to the other that I have ever seen?

 This was supposed to be a Weymouth Alpine Ski Hash, in which hashers were supposed to dress accordingly . However only the three of us turned up with ski equipment on, Gravel and Welly came in similar ski goggles and head gear and myself turned up with a pair of medical ski poles. As for the rest of you: a very poor effort, so Welly and Gravel were down downed as that was the cheaper option.  After a quick pic outside the pub the pack was handed over to the hares who informed them that they may get a little wet, but they should  “CRACK ON” and “MAN UP”.

On On was called and the pack headed off in the direction of Upwey village, so I retreated to the pub on my ski poles for a few pints of Timothy Taylor.  Gravel came back about half an hour later with an excuse of  “It was a bit fast for me”.  I think she just fancied a pint of cider as Welly was driving on this occasion.  The rest of the pack arrived back just under the hour all very wet and steamy, with reports of two strange fellows sat in a river on chairs, one with a mask on and the other wearing wellies and looking awfully like a person who bothers sheep. However apparently nobody escaped without getting wet.

 Well we really did the Down Downs this week spending more on them than we actually took in subs, but “HEY-HO” all in the name of fun!

Overall a very good hash with a very well laid trail, laid with huge blobs of flour (10 bags used in all).  Aas both  hares were virgins they did an excellent job with a lot of thought going into it.  Well done guys you certainly “cracked on and man’d  up”.

GM’s DOWN DOWNS:

MASTER BAKERS:  Hares Just Tom & Sam using ten bags of flour on this hash.

VIRGIN: Just Molly

BIRTHDAY: Just Gavin  (nobody dobbed on him, found it out on Facebook, but did not realise it was his 40th.)

THE PRANCER: Just Mary prancing through the grass like my little pony.

HARES’ DOWN DOWNS:

THE TWATS : Gravelrash & Welly Wanker  looked silly in their ski hats and goggles.

HARE ABUSE: B’stard & Just Matt  chucking both hares into the river and making them very wet, silly hares forgot to bring dry trainers.

OVER KEEN: B’stard and SNoFI running too fast and putting too much effort in.

HASH 581 THE OLD SHIP UPWEY 01/03/12

HARES: Just Matt , C.K      CHEF: Just Dean

HOUNDS: Welly Wanker,  Gravelrash,  ABO,  B’stard,  Organgrinder,  Bones1,  Just Georgia (V),  L’Ass Over Tit,  Boulders,  Just Phil (V),  Rosie,  Lagerlout,  Kipper,  Dilly,  Just Andy (V),  Erco,  Muscrat,  Cock’n’ Rubber,  Just Araon,  Something Else,  H5N1,  Hooker,  Pollocks,  Corn On The Knob,  Just Carly,  Dick in a Rubber,  Cracked Lips, Just Jane, Gay Cavalier.

SOCIALS: BOF,  Buscock, Bookend,  Herr Flick,  Just Christine ( v Guest B’stard), Clapper, Des De Moaner,  Willy,  Just Christine (v Guest of Dilly),  Just Cookie (v Guest of B’stard),  Fleur,  Shirtlifter,  MSB,  Just Ashlee,  BFG,  OB1-Wan Kanob,  Just Tom. 

HASHERS: 32      SOCIALS: 17

DISTANCE:  5.5 Miles               TIME :  1 hour  8 Mins.

HARES REPORT: (report book freehand)    Quite honestly I’ve never met such a stupid bunch of arses who couldn’t follow a well laid trail to their own genitals!!     Just Matt

HARES REPORT:   I met up with CK in the Ship Inn, not far from our starting point of the TS Pelican, a sail-training ship for all ages run by a Weymouth based charity. We were a little early for setting the hash so decided to have a pint and discuss the strategy. An hour later it was obvious that, as a virgin hare I needed extra strategical support so we stayed for another beer. This worked wonders and we set off to lay our dust!

With CK’s guidance a slightly more complex hash was laid over a shorter distance than I’d originally planned and with the laying taking close to 2 hours we were already a little nervous that the Sub60 may not be acheived.

Hash laid with 40 minutes to go a post-lay-pre-hash debrief was required so we sampled the delights of the Stable, cider and wine (not together) were ordered and consumed before CK & I returned to the Pelican to await the arrival of the hardy hashers.

The hash commenced just after 7pm (7.05) after a full briefing on the evennings rules and some safety info to be ignored whilst on the boat afterwards. There were about 35 hashers and an additonal 10 or so social hangers on (plus the obvious one or two with genuine excuses for not running such as Bookend). “check it out!” was the call and off they went in all directions, We should have guessed that we were in for trouble as the first and second dust took far longer than expected to find as certain hashers did their usual trick of ignoring bars and leading the pack off like Bo Peep in the wrong direction.

Order was resumed for a while until the same happenned just before the pack got to the Town bridge check point, with a slight helping hand the group crossed the bridge and “on on” was the cry for a good mile or so. As it was only the second day of the new Rodwell Trail bridge being open we had laid a trail across the bridge, barred the main exit path and taken the group down the muddy side slope, for many the very first time they’d crossed the bridge which was exactly what we’d hoped for. Back over the water into Melcombe Regis we passed the sex shop, just (one or two were seen checking it out in greater detail than perhaps was right for a teacher but after being threatened with a down down she moved away from the window!).

On exiting the Park District at least 6 front runners were guilty of missing the fish hook 6 in the middle of the promenade, we noted 5 names for the resulting down down and the guilty 5 grassed up the 6th in time honoured scoundrel fashion when down downs were dished out.

Some made it to the view point check point and still were back on board the TS Pelican by 8.03, 2 minutes early but the back end of the hash needed to be shown the last element of the route before their return at 8.10 earning both CK & I a down down of our own.

Drink was included in the £10 fee for the evenning which was in aid of the Pelican charity, also included was an excellent curry cooked by non-participating-due-to-cooking hasher Just Dean, thanks go to him for organising an excellent evenning. Much signing, banter and beer followed the curry and we were eventually frog-marched off the boat by the skipper and bosun at around 10pm, all so happy that we were reluctant for the evenning to end and so The Stable opnce again became the venue, for many another first for the evenning, The Stable crew were very pleased to see us all arrive as the owner commented to me the next day that we drank more than we ran. They were apparently all very pleased to see us leave after 11pm as their beds were calling.

I’m pleased to say that many compliments were aimied at us hares and Just Dean for the whole evenning and I’m sure that the books will be full if we repeat that sort of an evenning on a warm summers day, I for one will be there!

 Bookend – hope that’s ok.      MATT

GMs REPORT:  Bit wobbly getting on the boat, but was greeted by a load of early keen hashers eager to get going on time , and insistent that this hash was going dead on 7.00pm with no waiting for slightly late hashers.  After a quick picture or two 20 so-ish hashers departed with the sound of ” ON ON”.  I was left strict instructions to wait on deck and send any late hashers towards the squash club, but unfortunately the weather started to make my in growing toe nail ache, so I thought “ Bollocks, they can find their own way!” and departed in the direction of the ship mess where a nice barrel of Durdle Door ale was calling to me.  Had a few pints with BOF whilst having a lesson from the ship’s Boson all about the history of the Pelican and tall ship info in general.

About 10 to eight a few of the hash returned with reports of a “fast run” on which they were quite happy to have a short cut and arrive before the hour. However the rest of the hash arrived about 10 past eight well over the hour, no wonder the hares didn’t want to wait for slightly late hashers at the start.  Rosie was back first followed by Just Jonnie wearing on his head what can only be called a ’ Rasta tea cosy’, 8th dwarf  type woollen hat. “HE LOOKED A RIGHT TWAT”.  A hash name would have to be given later on in the night. 

Sat down to a nice curry and few beers in a very crowded mess which was only supposed to sit about 20, but we seem to squeeze in about 40, finished the night with a few down downs and a chorus of ‘Sunshine Mountain’  which CK conducted,  insisting that as far as he knew it had not been done on a boat before.  I think he just wanted to see tall people stand on chairs in very confined, low head room space, “but was fun to watch”.  A few then went on to the Stables cider bar for a chat and extra beer.  I think this has given a few hashers ideas for  future runs.

Overall a very entertaining  hash set from a very different location, excellent food, beer and hospitality from the crew of the Pelican.  Big thanks to Just Dean for setting up and cheffing this event. Bookend.

DOWN DOWN’S  GMs

VIRGINS  -  Just Christine,  Just Andy,  Cookie,  Just Georgia.

OVERRUNNING THE HOUR -   Hares CK, Just Matt.  Despite the recent reminders and the change in rules they still managed to get over the hour. Not Matt’s fault being a virgin hare But CK, his minder, should have known better.

HALFWITS – Gay cavalier, Fleur, Willy.    The start of this hash was The Pelican  a tall ship moored in the harbour, not a pub on the harbour side, which these hashers were reported to be waiting in.

DOWN DOWNs Hares

FISHHOOK ABUSE – L’Ass Over Tit  ( blatantly ignoring one)  Just Andy (can’t count from 1-6 when he was sixth)

HOSPITALITY-   Just Dean , Ship Crew, Boson ( boson given coke cause he might have to climb rigging)

HASH CHRISTENING - An announcement was made early in the evening that Just Jonnie was to be given a hash name later on and everybody should think of a  suitable names around the theme of his hat.  Names were suggested and the three strongest ones were put to the vote, two names came out on top but neither an out right winner. Something Else shouted out a late entry and a unanimous decision was made.

From now on Just Jonnie will be known as:-

                          DICK IN A JONNY

hash 580 The pelican T/Ship 01/03/12

The Pelican Flyer

HARE-Bumblebee

HOUNDS – Honest John, Meatfree, Boulders, Just Rachel (v), Just Guy (v), Bones1, Bones2, CK, By Proxy, Corn On The Knob, Rosie, SNoFI, Shirtlifter, Kipper, Friggin, Just Matt, Just Dean, Clapper, NoFI, Just Mary, Just Frank, Just Carly, Cock’n'Rubber, Just Geoff, B’stard

SOCIALS – Willy, Tsunami, Des De Moaner, Drain, Buscock, Bookend, Herr Flick, Organgrinder, Psychedelic.

HASHERS – 26      DISTANCE -   4.2 miles    TIME-   55mins inc beer stop.

HARE’S REPORT-   “it was a clear moonlit night, the wind started to cool the day’s heady 17 degree heat. As the Sub60 hashers began to gather one thing became clear: it was Bumblebee’s (Honeypot to her friends) Birthday”

Before the off everyone was made welcome and the group photo was taken! (nearly wasn’t as MSB had the camera pointing at Meatfree’s car)

“HASH HUSH” Ohhhhh that felt good! Mmmm no GM taking over events!

Right back to my birthday 23rd February (just a reminder for next year). The hash was given strict guidelines ” It should be under the hour, but we do have a Birthday beer stop! It’s dust and on down Heatherly Road they were told!

A really fast pace was set by one “B’stard” he was chasing down a “Friggin” to the “Bones” but alas, “SNoFI” put paid to that because he found the regroup.

We meandered along the streets adjacent to Dorchester Road: St Andrews, Hayward’s and Beaumont Avenue passed us by, Southfields Ave and Milton Close: “Mmmm now they are confused”

Alexandra Road and on for a small group (most had gone astray), Carlton Road to Dorchester Road and the beer stop must have been sussed! The BBS (Birthday Beer Stop) was held at OG and BOF’s home! (thanks for being good sports).  After beer, cake, peanuts and crisps the hash headed off, minus two who got bored or only came for the beer stop! One of them Cock’nRubber needed cash, likely story!!!!! So off they went to the cash point!

Rosie ran with at least 4 beers, one in each hand and the other two, who knows where they went !

Most of us were back on trail, Dale in to Grove, anyone seen CK where had he gone! No way had I lost a hasher! Into the Lodmoor but not for long, swoop around the Rugby Club and over the Mercury Road land fill to the ON INN.

Thanks for turning up    ON! ON!  until the next time

Bumblebee (Honeypot to her friends)

GM’S REPORT-   Fast, Fast, Fast seemed to be the general opinion: there were a lot of very sweaty red faced hashers entering the pub at the end of this hash.  Bumblebee assured me it would be under the hour, with a beer stop included and he delivered.  Thank You very much to BOF and Organgrinder for the beer stop and their hospitality.  Earlier on the the week, a small amount of banter on Facebook between Bumblebee, Boulders and myself led to this one being themed as a Motown Legends hash, with the hope of Bumblebee dressing up.  Alas nobody, not even Honeypot made the effort, apart from a small exception, Honest John who brought along a wig in his car just in case. Overall a good hash with no complaints as yet, thank you to Bumblebee for having nothing better to do on his Birthday.

Congratulations to Honest John who made this one his 200th SUB60. with an average of, roughly 20 hashes a year.

DDs

BIRTHDAYS – Bumblebee, Herr Flick actual hash day. (Just Carly went on early so missed her birthday DD happy birthday to her, for the weekend)

TRAIL DISTRACTION – Cock’n'Rubber – had to make detour to cash point whilst en route (also birthday Monday 27th)

VIRGINS-  Just Guy , Just Rachel (even though Rachel insisted that she had done it before but she couldn’t prove it.)

SUSPECTED HOUND MISLEADING – Friggin taking the hash in the wrong direction not on dust.

GET A LIFE – Honest John  200th SUB60 hash.

The Famous Old Spa 23/feb/12

hash 579 23-feb-2012 The Famous Old Spa

HARES: L’ Ass over Tit and Just Megan(v)  (both virgin hares)

HOUNDS : Just Sam, Just Tom, Organgrinder, Doggy, Boulders, B’stard, BFG, GTM, Corn on the Knob, Gay Cavalier, Ob1 Kanobi, Just Matt, Just Dean, Kipper, Just Jane, Lagerlout, Honest John, Cupid Stunt, Shirtlifter.

SOCIALS: BOF, Bookend, Sprout, Willy, MSB, Tsunami, Drain, Welly Wanker, Abo, Buscock.

HASHERS: 21       DISTANCE: (Boulders 7 miles)  rest 5.2     TIME: 1 hour 10 mins

HARES REPORT:  Well took 4 hours to set it so maybe we could say it was a bit too long for a Sub60!  L’Ass x

But only the bald headed crippled twat could set us this route: tried to go through an 8 foot barbed wired gate, our flour was sabotaged, we lost people along the way.  All in all, it was a successful hash!  Non-stop whinging all the way round just because we put in a fake beer stop, can tell everyone is alcoholic.  Just Megan x

GMs REPORT :  the hares, well how different did they make it, even though they had a rough guide on route from myself.  They have got to be commended on their efforts, mistakes, improvisation and letting FRBs (front running bastards) do some real long false trails.  The use of a fake beer stop, 1st for the Sub 60, with the words JOG ON attached to a piece of paper on the door (GTM apparently had a few choice words to say about this) did not go down that well.  What about the monster bar that not only did both pavements but the whole road as well!  Very good effort girls: for first time being hares you certainly didn’t forget the first rule of hashing!!

The official beer stop eventually was at Doggy and Sprout’s house, where everybody camped themselves in the garage for a bit of food and hash beer, Doggy & Sprout kindly cooked up some fajitas (wraps) and made some mulled wine out of left overs, but Doggy had other ideas of what to do with the wine, deciding that the kitchen needed a fresh colour  and dragged the pot off the side whilst still plugged into the mains (should have left it to the girls).   Seemed to have a few problems with the garage electrics after that, as trip switch kept tripping, plunging the garage into darkness.  Carried out the down downs in the garage with the aid of several torches and a very murky bottle of home-brew wine and hash beer, so gave out a few.   Everybody was really impressed with Doggy and Sprout’s large cat litter feature in their rear garden, very kind of them to think of the local cats.  Talking of cats, Cupid Stunt had to leave at this point to attend to her pussy.

Back to the pub for a few beers and a social, had a few social hashers waiting there for us, Kipper had a few beers and paid particular interest to the 3rd machine hanging in the gents toilets, containing a battery operated vibrating ring.  The hash decided to purchase him one to satisfy his curiosity but unfortunately they were out of stock!                            Thank You to Doggy and Sprout for their hospitality, and once again well done girls.

DOWN DOWNS

BOULDERS -  trying to open a bottle of beer using a table to bash the lid off, whilst all the time being in the possesion of a bottle opener.

JUST MATT- Whinging in a Welsh voice all the way around.

BSG, OB1, Gay Cavalier -  A long absence with welcome return.

DOGGY – Hash beer abuse, spillage not exceptable.

JUST TOM -  Dog abuse, kicking Izy the dog in the chops and making her yelp.

L’ASS, JUST MEGAN -   crappy trail, false beer stop, crossing bar, virgins.

BOOKEND – Blamed for giving hares false trail info.

GTM, CORN ON THE KNOB-   being too keen and running an extra loop (breaking training rule)

LAGERLOUT-   Not being so keen and short cutting large chunk of hash.

JUST SAM – Daft hasher had new trainers on, which made a nice drinking vessel.